... Yes, that's right; I saw "Breaking Dawn, pt. 1" on purpose. It is of vital importance that you do not do this alone or sober. There are four steps to surviving a Twilight movie:
Step 1: round up the Sparkle Posse. (thank you KTSL; I owe you big time.)
Step 2: go to Sweet Mother's Kitchen for margaritas and tacos; get good and toasted.
Step 3: go to multiplex; get all excited by trailer for "Mission Impossible 4", 'cause Simon Pegg! Jeremy Renner! then see dreadful movie; try not to heckle too loudly.
Step 4: go to Cha for sweet tea and to complain about dreadful movie; arrange to see pt. 2 this time next year. 'cause we're masochists like that.
Things that were good: K. Stew is pretty. Bella's dad. Bella's dad's moustache.
Things that were done well: genuinely disturbing CG effects to make Bella look anorexic as the DEMON BABY is sucking the life out of her; shout-out to director Bill Condon's "Gods and Monsters" ;-)
Things that provoked maximum hilarity: the wedding night scene; also known as "Twilight: Breaking Headboards". Bonus points to K for her well-timed heckling, er, advice: "One word ... Bondage!"
TL;DR: Twilight bad, Kristen pretty.
My recommendation: go and rent "Innocent Blood" with Anne Parillaud and Anthony LaPaglia; they know how to do it right.
No comments:
Post a Comment